Friendship Basics

Friends can either make you or break you. The relationships you are a part of today will direct you in your decisions/opportunities tomorrow and the next day and the next and well into your future. If you think about your top five friends with this in mind you may already be able to say, “these friends are going to break me. They are not healthy for me.” Or maybe, “these friends are good for me. I can see them contributing toward where I am going in life.”


The wisest man who ever lived wrote in Proverbs 13:20, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” (NIV)


If you’ve ever done anything incredibly stupid that put you in a bad situation, chances are you weren’t alone. Other people were encouraging you to do it or even doing it with you. If you’ve ever helped someone, participated in a community service project, or gone on a mission trip, chances are you were not alone then either. The people you spend your time with matter.


The average

You are the average of your 5 closest friends. Are you a party-girl or party-guy? Are you a flunk out? Are you a drop out? Are you an unmotivated gamer who sits in front of the TV all day? Are you a straight A student with a group of friends who study together? Does your group of friends all love Jesus, go to church, talk about God, read their Bibles, respect their parents, and do good deeds for others? What is the average of your 5 closest friendships? Look in the mirror and you will see it.


Two kinds of friends

Proverbs 17:17 says: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (NIV) Do you have friends who really love you at all times? When the going gets tough? Through thick and thin no matter what? When you’re broke? When your parents get divorced? When your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you?


There are only two kinds of friends. There is no middle. There is no third option.

  • The kind that pushes you towards God and His plans for you
  • The kind that leads you away from God and His plans for you


As we work our way through this friendship series, we are adopting the idea that the purpose of friendship is to lead others toward God and his plans for their life.


Write down your closest relationships and ask the question, “Does this relationship lead me toward God, or away from God?” And, “Am I the kind of friend that leads others toward or away from God?”